Speculation
The Dementor's Kiss destroys the soul because the soul was already leaving
Dementors feed on departing souls in their natural moment of exit. The Kiss forces that exit early, but the destruction happens because the mechanism was already there.
When Barty Crouch Junior receives the Kiss in the hospital wing, he becomes an empty shell within moments. The text describes him as having his soul sucked out, but never explains what allows a Dementor to destroy something supposedly indestructible. Horcruxes prove souls can be torn and hidden. The diary burns, the locket gets stabbed, the diadem combusts—yet none of those destructions should be possible if a soul fragment is truly untouchable. The common thread: each destruction requires a weapon or force that unmakes magical protection. Basilisk venom, Fiendfyre, the sword that absorbed venom. The Kiss works differently. It requires no tool, no spell, no ancient relic. A Dementor simply approaches and removes what should not be removable.
Consider what Dementors do in every other encounter. They drain happiness, drain hope, drain warmth. They pull at memories and leave victims hollow. Lupin explains this in the third year as feeding. But feeding on what, exactly? Emotions are not tangible. Memories do not provide sustenance in any biological sense. The language of feeding suggests consumption, but what a Dementor consumes is never made physical. It does not bite, does not digest. It drains. The verb matters. Draining implies a flow that already existed, now redirected.
The soul's natural exit happens at death. Nearly Headless Nick explains this when he returns as a ghost: he chose to remain as an imprint rather than go on. That phrase, go on, suggests movement. The soul does not simply vanish at death. It departs. It goes somewhere, or at least it goes. Sirius falls through the Veil and disappears mid-sentence, his body and soul together passing through a threshold that represents death as a doorway. The arch stands in the Department of Mysteries, surrounded by researchers who study it, and whispers emerge from beyond. Those whispers are voices, and voices require something of the person to persist, at least at the boundary.
Dementors congregate near Azkaban, an island fortress surrounded by sea and despair. But they also congregate near the Veil. Harry sees them in the hundreds during his fifth year, positioned as guards, but also as creatures drawn to the location. The Department of Mysteries keeps the Veil in a room with stadium seating, as if it were meant for observation, and the Dementors outside that department respond to its presence. They do not guard randomly. They circle places where the boundary between life and death grows thin. Azkaban holds prisoners at the edge of despair, souls worn down to near-departure. The Veil holds the threshold itself. Dementors are not attracted to despair for its own sake. They are attracted to souls in the process of leaving.
The Kiss does not rip the soul away by brute force. It accelerates a process that only occurs when a soul is ready to depart. A healthy wizard, fully alive, keeps the soul anchored by the simple fact of living. The body sustains it, the mind directs it, the magic binds it. But a Dementor can weaken all three. The cold, the despair, the memory-drain—these erode the anchors. When a Dementor feeds long enough, the victim loses the will to remain. Not the will to fight, but the will to stay bound to the body at all. The Kiss happens when that erosion reaches completion. The Dementor does not break the soul free. It catches the soul at the moment of exit and consumes it in transit.
This explains why the Kiss leaves the body alive. If the act were pure destruction, a violent severing, the body should fail. But the victims continue breathing, continue existing as empty vessels. That is not death. Death stops the body. The Kiss stops only the soul's return. It interrupts the threshold. In a natural death, the soul departs and the body ceases. In the Kiss, the soul departs but the body remains, because the departure was forced early, before the body's systems failed. The Dementor hijacks the exit mechanism without waiting for the body to release its hold.
Horcruxes complicate this, but they also confirm it. A Horcrux anchors a fragment by tearing the soul at the moment of murder, then hiding that fragment in an object. The fragment does not depart because it is not in a body that can die. It has no exit to take. A Dementor cannot Kiss a Horcrux because there is no departing process to intercept. The soul fragment sits static, waiting. Only when the container is destroyed does the fragment face destruction, and only because the container's destruction uses a force that unmakes magic itself. The Kiss works on living souls because living souls are always in motion, always sustained by the act of remaining. Stop the act, and the soul begins its exit.
This is why a Patronus works. The spell does not fight a Dementor with power or heat or light in a generic sense. It fights with a protective force born from a specific memory, a moment of pure joy. Joy is the opposite of despair, but more than that, it is an anchor. A joyful memory ties the caster to the desire to remain alive, to stay in the body, to hold the soul in place. The Patronus does not repel the Dementor by harming it. It repels the Dementor by making the soul impossible to dislodge. The caster's soul is not in the process of leaving, so the Dementor has nothing to drain, nothing to catch, nothing to consume.
When Harry faces Dementors on the Hogwarts Express, he nearly receives the Kiss. He hears his mother screaming, hears his own infant crying, and loses consciousness. Lupin intervenes just in time. Later, Harry describes the sensation as being pulled under, being dragged down. Not attacked, but drawn away. The Dementor was not forcing him out. It was pulling at the part of him that despair had already begun to dislodge. His soul was beginning its exit, triggered by the trauma and the cold, and the Dementor was there to drink it as it left.
The Ministry uses Dementors as executioners, but not as killers. The distinction matters. An executioner ends a life according to law. A Dementor ends the soul's presence in a body according to the soul's own weakness. The Kiss is not a spell. It is a predation on a natural process, turned into a tool.
The other side
The strongest objection is that Dementors Kiss victims who are not dying, who show no sign of natural soul departure. Barty Crouch Junior is healthy and young when he is Kissed. He is not ill, not suicidal, not on the edge of death in any medical sense. If the Kiss requires a soul already in the process of leaving, how can it work on someone so far from death? The answer lies in the distinction between biological life and metaphysical anchoring. Crouch has been subjected to the Imperius Curse for months, his will overridden, his sense of self eroded. Then he is exposed to Dementors in close quarters while imprisoned and awaiting trial. His soul is not departing due to body failure. It is departing due to despair and coercion, the anchors of identity worn away. The Dementor does not need the body to be dying. It needs the soul to be unsecured, and despair provides that. The Kiss works on anyone sufficiently broken.